Passion

Passion.
A word that is often used by many but not many understands the true meaning of it.

I used to think that having Passion is enough, noticed I used the phrase "used to".
So does it not apply anymore now?
It still does, but only to a certain extend.

Passion is something that you would definitely need to drive you to work hard, to shine, to overcome all obstacles.
But it stops, when it doesn't tally with the income that you're getting.

When it comes to money, people become realistic.
Yes you can be very passionate in what you do, but when the effort you put in isn't the same as what you've gotten back.
Then I'm sorry, you've just hit a wall there.
The saying is simple, I'm passionate in what I do but I'm more passionate when you give me more money.
Ha!

I love my job, I really do.
But recently, I've hit so many roadblocks and bumped into many challenges that I somehow just got tired of dealing with it.
I can safely say, I've definitely lost the passion in what I do.

When a passion is lost, it follows with patience.
I'm starting to see myself losing patience in dealing with people who still has no idea on what's going on after being told the effing time.
So the question now is, can I still recover my patience, without the passion?

Then the next follow up question would be, How can I ignite my Passion again?
Will it help with a new remuneration package?
If yes, how much would be enough?

If I allow others to determine how much I'm worth, is it fair?
The answers to both latter questions posted are, "It's never going to be fair", and "It's never going to be enough".

So what is it that I want then?
I think it's safe to say that, in my short time spent in the Insurance Corporate Industry, Corporate isn't going to be a place where I would get what I want, in terms of income.
I put a lot into the work I do, so much that sometimes it does not tally with my income.
This happens a lot because I'm passionate in everything I do, and it's going to continue to happen each time I move to another company.

It's not the wrong attitude, it just doesn't come back right.
The effort and the reward, it's never ever going to tally.
I'm always going to put in two to three times of my effort in everything I do, and it's never going grow alongside with my income.
Sad to say, that's how Corporate works.
If I really do want more, the best bet I have, it's to really grow my side business.

I know that I have a very bright future in my current company, so bright that everyone wants me to work for them.
"Giving recognition where it's due", that no longer applies to me.
I used to want that, and care a lot about this, people knowing who I am, what I am capable of.
But recently, I have come to realise that, with the right working attitude and the capability, and that capability being seen by the right people, it's not hard to receive recognition where it's due.

My job, the one that I have right now, it's something that I'm very passionate about.
So passionate that when I don't get to do what I was born to do, I slowly lose the passion, not in the job, but with the company that's holding me back.
This company that I'm with now, it's holding me back, very very much, and I'm slowly, gradually, losing passion to work in it.

Time will tell whether things will work out.
All I know now is that, Passion isn't something that you live off.
It needs to come together with Income.